If an argument occurs in a relationship, communication is key to make things right. It will only make you more connected to your partner and strengthen your bond.
Dr. John Gottman, a marriage researcher, can determine if a relationship will last or fall apart. His analyses include listening while partners communicate with each other.
Gottman warns of the 4 most destructive ways of communication that will threaten your relationship:
Giving your partner loving feedback differs from attacking them and their habits. When you start to over criticize your loved one, it will hurt them and they will start to feel guilty without a reason.
Try not to harmfully judge your partner in such ways that will make them feel inferior to you and humiliated.
To avoid such overwhelming situations, focus on their best parts and give them compliments. When you try to discuss their weaknesses, instead of criticizing them, positively frame them.
If you feel affected by their actions, speak openly and try to solve the problems without being harsh to one another.
If you insult, mock, or ridicule your partner, you are not only verbally, but emotionally abusing them. The only thing you are giving them is contempt.
Do not ruin your relationship with such behavior. Being rude only intensifies the issue and you can truly hurt your partner.
No one deserves to be treated with disrespect, whether you are joking or not, it is hostile humor that can create tension.
Remember to always treat them with respect and give them unconditional love.
When arguing or solving a problem, do not blame your partner for everything. Stop playing the victim and take the responsibility to reasonably solve the issue.
You will appear to be destructively defensive if you never take responsibility for your actions.
If you play the victim all the time, you are becoming manipulative and controlling, maybe you are scared of admitting you were wrong in the first place, but that will only increase the problem.
Every mistake is a lesson and by admitting it you move on and forget about the problem.
Being silent while your partner is confronting something that is bothering them can be just as disrespectful as insulting. “Stonewalling” is a term that defines when a person shuts off from the conversation.
They can behave absent, ignore you, or even leave the room without saying anything.
Never give the silent treatment when your loved one is upset. It is very disrespectful not to try and say something to ease your partner’s pain.
Rather than standing quiet, listen to them and do not interrupt while they are talking. If you ignore the situation, you won’t solve the problem.
We are angry and upset sometimes, but communicating with love and care should always be your choice.
Manipulating with words and actions will only lead to an unhealthy relationship filled with fights.
Always respect your partner in the way you want to be respected.