One of the things parenting’s about is teaching your children about stereotypes. Nowadays, stereotypes have been really popular among people. What is even more astonishing is that one of those stereotypes is the idea of love. Back in time, the idea of love used to be very closely related with romance. And it was the saving grace for all, especially women.
Fairy tales paint a perfect picture of love, featuring knights in armor and happily ever afters. Or movies, on the other hand, send messages that love is based on a past misunderstanding, or with someone who we used to hate because he/she used to tease us. There are also some romantic comedies which present the “stalking” as a good way of approaching someone that eventually ends up with winning that person’s love. And there’s the happy ending when she’ll somehow fall into his arms, or even worse, his bed. All of these examples lead our children towards deriving stereotypes of romantic love and misunderstanding the point of love, in the first place. Children usually take their parents as a role model for everything, including love too. Their first impression of love comes from the relationship of their parents. Therefore, as parents we need to be alert about what example we present to our kids about the essence of love, from affection to forgiveness and communication to respect.
Abuse does not correspond with love
Hitting and teasing has nothing to do with love. When your kids tell you that they’ve been teased by someone, do not let them think that it’s because the bully has a crush on them. That way, you make them think that abuse is a sign of love, and it’s really wrong if they learn to associate it with love. It’ll cause them many troubles once they grow up.
Don’t forget to love yourself
Children should learn that they should always love themselves, but not to be selfish. It means that they should neither sacrifice themselves to please their partner, nor to forget about their loved ones needs and wishes completely. Teaching them about mutual respect and never loosing themselves in a relationship is the balance they should learn to keep.
Love Does not Necessarily Last Forever
Romantic comedies usually leave the wrong impression that love lasts forever. But not always stories end with a happily ever after. When we find love for the first time, we feel happy and satisfied and we cherish those people. Anyways, sometimes, when the first period where everything’s perfect ends, we end up realizing that the person we used to be happy with is close to impossible. And that’s when you understand that it’s better to end the relationships and move on. The important thing is to learn to cherish those failed relationships and not to consider all those moments spent a waste, but to look at them as a better experience in future.
Love Needs Give And Take
As parents, we always express our unconditional love towards our children, but we must not fail to make them aware that they cannot be on the receiving end all the time. When in a relationship, it’s always important to learn the importance of kindness and compromise because that’s a sign of a healthy relationship.
Love should make you a better person.
Of all the different kinds of love, your kids need to learn that they deserve the kind of love that makes them a better person. Make them aware that love should lead them towards a brighter future and make them a better human being.
With love comes respect too
Love without respect is toxic. Children should know that love and respect go together. They should know that they will be respected as much as they respect the others.
Loving Someone Does not Mean They’ll Love You Back
This one really hurts. Unreturned love is one of the saddest thing one can experience. And this is where romantic comedies featuring forcing someone to love you back by stalking them, or sabotaging their already existing relationships and so on, lead our children towards misunderstanding of love. Children need to learn that one-sided love exists and they need to learn to let it go. That kind of experience will be less hurting if they know what to expect and that you’ll be there to support them.